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Don't miss the
hilarious action-
packed episode
"The Map"!
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Thursday, July 17th. 3:23 pm
We're back on the road again today. Got a hot tip from one of our government sources. Jeff has a buddy that put together the CIA phone-tap computer system that tracks any mention of certain keywords. So we have any phonecall in the country flagged if it contains the words "Sparky" or "The Clip" or "Ringo Starr Watermelon" (don't ask... it's classified.) Anyway, headed to Boulder, CO to check it out. -- ETHAN
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Tuesday, July 22. 11:10 pm
Hey everyone! Just got to Boulder yesterday and we're staking out the local fire hydrants looking for anything unusual. We got delayed a little though when Jeff ran over Ethan's foot while trying to fill up with gas. Did you know that you actually need your toes to walk? Go figure. More soon. Keep it real! -- CHRIS
Wednesday, July 30. 9:15 am
Hey, Jeff here. That whole Boulder thing turned out to be a real waste of time, ya know? I mean by the time we got there all we could get was a couple hair samples for crying out loud. So I ran the whole DNA test thing. Guess what we discovered? Fleas. Lots of them. So we're positive Sparky wasn't there. I mean, Sparky didn't have fleas. He had very, very good hygene. From lots of licking I think. -- JEFF
Friday, August 1. 10:10 pm
Jeff failed to mention that some of the hairs tested were his. He needs to use better shampoo. -- CHRIS
Thursday, August 7. 8:15 pm
So I had this great idea today, and do I get credit for it? No. I thought it would be smart for us to like, infiltrate the kennels. Like dress up and go undercover there, just like a Mission Impossible kind of thing where after we get the information we peel off the mask, ya know? I mean, you gotta go where the info is, right? Then Chris gets all mad because I thought she would be easiest to fit into a dog outfit, being the smallest. And then I can't quite remember what happened after that as Ethan hit me on the head with something very hard. -- JEFF
Tuesday, August 19. 6:15 am
Great news, Sparky supporters. You have probably heard how California is going through a re-call election for the governor right now. Well, I just spent an hour on the phone
with various campaign managers for many of the politicians who are currently in the race. I'm setting up times to meet with each candidate individually and talk to them about the search for Sparky and making it a
government priority. I'd like to see bigger budgets and a more dedicated law enforcement effort. The power and tax issues are somewhat important... but I think most people are more interested in how these new
candidates propose to find Sparky, ya know? I'll keep you posted. -- ETHAN
Wednesday, September 10. 9:23 pm
Hey everyone. This last month has just been an emotional roller coaster for me. I mean... it all started when we had this "Take Your
Pet to Work" day at the restaurant where I work. Seeing everybody smiling and just petting their dogs and cats and iguanas right there in the kitchen... it just really got me upset. I wanted so much for Sparky to be there and share in the moment. And the looks I got from everyone... you wouldn't believe it. Like I wasn't good enough to have a pet! Do they think I'm not trying to find Sparky? Come on! Anyway, I've gotta go. Sometimes this whole thing is just overwhelming. Sorry to vent. -- CHRIS
Friday, September 19. 8:22 am
Hey. This is Jeff. So we just arrived in Las Vegas yesterday and plan on spending a week here searching for Sparky. Why Vegas? Well, I always had this suspicion that maybe The Clip kidnapped Sparky so that he could use him in those dog races they have there. I mean, lets face it... Sparky had short legs, but he was FAST. And he's so darn aero-dyanamic too. Have you ever seen a dachshund in the middle of a full-out sprint? It's like poetry in motion. Anyway, it would be just like The Clip to try and take advantage of something beautiful like that and turn it for evil. I'll keep you posted. -- JEFF
Tuesday, September 30. 11:03 pm
Vegas is a seedy town. We've definitely found that out. There's nothing sadder than seeing some down-on-his-luck border collie throwing away the family savings trying to cash in on the bone slots. Anyway, our Vegas trip hasn't been as successful as I had hoped. We were trying to hook up with those CSI crime guys out here as I thought they might be able to use some of their high-tech lab for some testing of dog hair samples. No luck yet. We've had to stay a bit longer than originally intended because Jeff actually got bit by one of Siegfried & Roy's white tigers when we were attending a big magic show. Make a mental note: Tigers don't like their ears pulled. -- ETHAN
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